A Year of Quitting

I spent last year being a quitter. That's right, a big fat quitter. Quitting is not something I do lightly. Tenacity has always been a quality I've admired in myself. But there's a difference between tenacity and stubbornness. My year of quitting started with the end of my engagement. It was an unhappy relationship but I hung onto it for dear life. Woah. Read that again...an unhappy, UNhappy relationship but I hung onto it for dear life. What the hell??? I knew I was unhappy, I knew he was unhappy but I hung on?? Why? 

It would take a team of therapists to figure that one out...

When I finally chose to end things it was what I imagine skydiving to be like. That's a big decision. Stay safely inside the plane, no matter how turbulent or leap? I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and jumped. The moment I let that relationship go I knew it was the right decision. A weight had been lifted. I felt so light. And free. 

So seriously...what took me so long? I did some soul searching. Maybe my oh so admirable tenacity wasn't serving me the way I thought. Yes it got me through college. Yes it helped me raise four children as a single Mom. But was my unwillingness to give up on anything truly tenacity or was it pigheaded pride? Or could it be fear?

I didn't have to search long for the answer. 

Shit. 

I took a long hard look at my life and started quitting. I quit smoking. (I realize that should be a no brainer but it's an addiction people.) I quit eating meat. I quit waiting for the right time to sign up for yoga teacher training and just did it. I stripped myself of all the bullshit and only pursued things that made me happy. Things that fulfilled me. I was on a mission, I was taking back Poland! 

Taking myself back. 

And what did my year of quitting bring me? It brought me the knowledge that I have to take care of myself. My body, my heart, my spirit. It brought me a yoga teacher certificate, something I've wanted for over a decade. It brought me a new job. A job I absolutely love and that I'm meant to do. It brought me greater health and it brought me peace. It brought me an appreciation for myself. A commitment to never settle for anything. Looking back, learning to become a quitter was exactly what I needed.