What Kind of Formula Does Match Dot Com Use??

There are times I wish I weren't single. Like today. New Years Eve. My big plans? I'll ring in the new year with my three dogs. Oooh what an exciting life I lead! I'll probably throw some dish washing in there just to shake things up. I'm really not whining about spending New Years alone. I got several invitations. I could get dolled up and go out on the town. But it's Wednesday...and I have to work in the morning...I do NOT want to go to work with a hangover. So I will quietly celebrate the new year. I'll reflect on last year and contemplate what I'll do differently in the coming year.

Still.

There is a part of me that wouldn't hate having someone here to have those quiet reflections with. But what's a girl to do? I have a full time job and one full time child still at home. (She's spending New Year's at her Dad's.) Where am I supposed to meet someone? The grocery store? Ballet class? Online dating? Hmm...Online Dating. Dr. Phil says it's okay to look. Who am I to argue with Dr. Phil?

There's something odd about "shopping" for a man online, like I'm looking for a book or something. It would be nice if dating sites had categories like a book store. I could avoid the horror section altogether. Thus far I've had one really great date with a man who never called again. (His loss, I'm awesome.) Then I had a really bad date with a man who spent the evening making racial and anti Semitic slurs. He was kidding. It just wasn't funny. To top it off he assaulted my face with really bad kissing. In public. I'm not a prude. PDA's are fine but they should be brief and more importantly, wanted by both parties. Of course he asked for a second date, he had a GREAT time. Ironically I found my ex husband on there too. Match dot com thinks we're 92% right for each other. 92%???? Who's doing that math?

I'm starting to lose faith in Dr. Phil.

The Top Eight Reasons Chiwetel Ejiofor Should Be My New Boyfriend

I've decided to date a celebrity. I mean...why not? After careful consideration I've narrowed it down to Chiwetel Ejiofor and here's why. 

1. Hello...look at him!

2. I'm fairly certain he's the ONLY person who could teach me how to pronounce his name and I hate not knowing how to pronounce something. I'm still horrified that I pronounced Hermione Granger's name incorrectly until book 4 when J.K. finally spelled it out for the stupid Americans.  

3. His accent, girls are suckers for accents. Case in point, Hugh Grant. 

4. He's trained in sword acting so if anyone ever bothered us we'd be all set. Assuming he carries a sword around at all times.

5. I'm single, he might be single, I can't find evidence to the contrary on the internet. (My apologies to his significant other if he isn't but you can't blame a girl for trying!)

6. He was in Serenity. Do I really need to say more?

7. If I married him Andrew Lincoln would show up with a series of handwritten signs declaring his secret love for me. I would of course send him packing but who doesn't want Andrew Lincoln showing up at your door?

8. I'm pretty awesome. He could do worse.

For the many celebrities who didn't make the list, I apologize. To Chiwetel...I'll wait for your call.