Maria Parham Medical Center

My first day at the hospital was an interminably long one. Nine hours of orientation. I've never been so oriented in my life! At least that's what I thought until I got lost on my second day. I was trying to find the rehab floor from the ICU and ended up walking in on a surgery. I have no idea what type of surgery was happening because I ran like the wind.

 A few days later I got trapped in the stairwell. I had to go down one floor so I opted to take the stairs. Healthier and much quicker. But the door to get off the stairs was locked. And so was the next one...and the next one. I had to go to the first floor, find my way to the elevator without bursting in on a surgery and then back up three floors to get where I was trying to go. I mentioned the irony of the "Take the Stairs for Your Health" signs that are posted on every wall in the stairwell to a co-worker. "Take the stairs, because you have no choice sucker." "Oh, your id badge opens those doors." Sigh. Perhaps I should have paid more attention during orientation. Feeling stupid I tried the stairs again. I waved that id badge all around the door to no avail. I'm sure I looked like the Karate Kid doing "wax on and wax off". Back to the first floor and back to the co-worker who told me to use my id badge. "Oh, it doesn't work on THOSE stairs." AHHHH!!!

If getting lost weren't enough I'm dealing with a 26 year-old co worker who I may strangle with ace wrap. I'm 42. I've been a therapist for ten years. He's been a therapist for 2. He constantly double checks me. "Do you think you can handle that patient?", "If you can't handle it, come find me." Uh-huh. I'll aimlessly wander about the hospital looking for you. Maybe I'll get to see a cool surgery while I'm at it. I'm not about rocking the boat on a temp job. I can deal with the pup for two months. He's a nice kid and has potential to be a good therapist so I amuse myself by calling him Skippy or Junior any chance I get.